Being upset is a side effect of giving a fuck.

I have  tendency to not be upset, I typically just move on to the next without questions or very much thought… Call it my flaw of indifference.  Typically I’m indifferent the early stages of things, I think that we should all be a little indifferent because everyone you meet is not going to like you. It is interesting that people get so wrapped so fast.  Typically I always have one foot out the door and a couple of players warmed up, just in case.

The way I know that I really like a guy is when I care about how he feels and I’m upset or disappointed by something he does or doesn’t do.  In that moment I think to myself “Damn it he’s got me”.  There is one person in particular that I try my damnedest to be great for.  Not because I’m not great anyway, but he brings out the best in me.  He makes me want to be everything I never thought I wanted to be.  So one time when he didn’t call me back, like he said he would, I was upset and then I knew I gave a more than a few fucks because I actually ran through all of the things he could be doing besides talking to me.  In reality he was asleep and I was wondering what he was doing but of course I didn’t call (I didn’t want to seem too pressed).  Under a normal circumstance I would have forgot he was supposed to call back or not thought twice about it.

In short, I try to only waste energy on people I like I don’t over analyze or agonize over the ones around for entertainment and company.  I like doing random things and I need people around who want to do it with me.  You have to decide when to care. With careful control over your impulsive emotions you too can seem not only heartless but can become indifferent too.  I know someone is reading this like what good is a chick who doesn’t get upset.  People think that women need to have emotions so men can have reactions.  So to you I say the fact that I’m single says a lot about how I treat these hoes…  Not saying that I haven’t been in a meaningful fulfilling relationship. I just try to put potential relationship energy into people who I could potentially be in a relationship with. So please be careful because being upset directly correlates to giving a fuck.


HBO presents GIRLS: Why this is my new favorite show.

This show is amazing to me; Lena is a genius.  Once I get pass the fact that ethnically, I am not represented in the least bit I get really drawn in.  From the reviews I have read on the internet most people want to analyze what it says about our society, well I am not going to take that angle simply because my critical thinking hat is sitting on the bookshelf over there.  I am going to just write about how I can relate to this show in spite of the lack of cultural diversity.  I relate on a very simplistic level; being 20 something, post degree, unmarried and female.

20 something-  I am starting to get the feeling that this stage in life is complex.  I am trying to form who I want to become as a person based on my opinions of things.  I am able to analyze the world around me based on my own experiences thus far, no matter how daunting it sounds I am creating the rest of my life.

Post Degree-  Whose idea was it for college to end.  Like in the show some of us land jobs and the rest of us are just trying to figure it out.  I like the representation of both and how this affects the dynamics of familial relationships and friendships.

Unmarried- Either you’re  single, dating or you’re in a serious a relationship. When you’re single, you are usually looking for someone to date. Sometimes you are trying to figure out if you’re actually dating the guy mutually and exclusively. The rest of the time you’re trying to figure out if you want to stay in the relationship you are already in.  Unmarried is complicated at times, but it is so musch more fun.

Female–  Aside from the fact that being Black adds another layer to my experiences in America, I relate to the fact that they are women.  I relate to the very basic female experience because we are not all that different. Our approaches may be different, our attitudes and swagger may be, but all in all, we have more similarities than differences.

I’m sure I could think of other ways I relate to this show but these are the top four.  I would recommend this show to anyone, it’s entertaining and relateable.  It’s more like reality than any reality TV I’ve seen in a long time. If you liked Sex in the City you will probably like this.

Round of Applause… I don’t want to make my ass clap… anymore.

Born into a generation of very overt sexuality in music and in dance I embrace freak dancing.  Partially because I’m not sure if I know how to dance any other way, and second because there is a heighten sensuality that comes with it.  Now there is a time and a place this not the type of dance you do at a formal social event or wedding but at the club it’s just fine.  There is a line I don’t cross with a stranger and I am not a member of anyone’s twerk team so my freak dancing abilities come with its limitations. I can not make my ass clap, bounce on a split or anything else you might consider a stripper trick, but I can mimic the average video vixen and I think that is sufficient.  However there is something to be said about how we express ourselves through dance. Freak dancing is mainstream now, but we know quantity doesn’t mean quality lol.  The funny thing is lately I’ve found myself less interested in freaking strangers and more leaning towards just having a good time some other way. I feel this way because I no longer get the satisfaction I use to get from it.  Let me clarify I am not saying I have put my freak dancing ways on a shelf but I have started to limited them, at least before the drinks start to flow then all bets are off.

Is this a sign of growth or am I turning into a prude? Am I too old to freak dance?

Some People Aren’t Going to Like this Post: Chris Brown @ the Grammy’s

In no way do I condone domestic violence. However I do not think that there should be a forever ban on Chris Brown. I understand that what he did was terrible, and that he deserved to be punished. The fact that young women are tweeting he can beat them anytime has absolutely nothing to do with this young man. As a matter of fact we should be asking what their parents are teaching them. The Grammy foundation are not condoning domestic violence but they are making a very clear statement that you can redeem yourself, no matter how bad your decison was.

My opinions on the situation are based on the fact that he has done very well on his probation according to his probation officer and Rihanna asking for a lift on his restraining order over a year ago. Chris Brown was 18 or 19 at the time of his domestic violence incident. He had grown up in a household where he witnessed domestic violence first hand. In my opinion Chris Brown was never taught healthy ways to solve conflicts in a relationship. I am not making excuses for him but I believe that what you learn at home has a greater affect on you than what you learn from society. Chris Brown seems to have moved on to a healthy and seemingly stable relationship, but people want him to continuously apologize and shun him while he does it. Chris Brown should not be the punching bag for all victims of domestic violence.

I don’t understand how we can compare a 19 year old Chris Brown to a 50-something year old Mel Gibson or an intoxicated Charlie Sheen. It is exactly that kind of thinking that makes it possible to try children as adults and put 23 year olds away for life. It just seems that people are so caught up in that fact that it was domestic violence, they won’t look at the fact that people make these same mistakes everyday. The fact is that Chris Brown did not make domestic violence cool but he is showing what is possible if you take responsibility for your actions and work hard to change.

Countdown to 2012: My favorites in entertainment of 2011

Favorite Music Artist:  Adele, she has a phenomenal voice and knows what works for her.  I was always a fan but 2011 was her year.  She made me want to go through a break up just to relate on a deeper level.

Favorite Song: Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce.  This song is better than a brownie hot fudge sundae during my period.  Whenever I need a pick me up I put it on repeat. When I don’t feel like working out anymore I put it on repeat.  This song>>>>

Favorite Movie: Columbiana. I Love revenge movies, Zoe Saldana made me think for about 36 seconds that I could be an assassin avenging the death of my loved one.

Favorite TV Series: Once Upon a Time and The Walking Dead.  I am a television buff. I will give just about anything a shot and I will watch episode after episode.  I was leery of Once Upon a Time but the way they manage to weave the stories together is impressive. My heart breaks a little every episode but I’m invested I can’t not watch.  The Walking Dead is a stark contrast from my other fav. There aren’t even words for how good the show is.

Favorite Reality Show: Love and Hip Hop.  I don’t consider reality shows in the same category.  I actually don’t care for reality shows but Love and Hip Hop is a good one mostly because I can’t get enough of Chrissy.  She is my imaginary best friend and when someone crosses me I ask myself what would Chrissy Lampkin, soon to be Lampkin-Jones, do.  No matter what the situation is she is always her self, strong in he opinions and protective of her Loved ones.