Time is a relationship currency: Putting time into a relationship is like putting money in the bank.

Time matters.

I am a person who requires time not much to that. I don’t want to be financially supported I just want time. Someone once told me that it is better to be with a person who is busy, rather than someone who is broke. Well a broke busy person is no Bueno,  but busy for no reason is no good either. You have to make time for a person you’re in a relationship and if your definition of time spent is different than mine then it’s not going to work. But even when a person has money in the bank and extra to spend, when building a relationship time is a precious commodity.

Time supposedly equals money, so let’s talk about that for a min. If I spend all of my time doing things that don’t involve my significant other, what value do you suppose they hold to me? In relationships time is a valuable currency and when you don’t spend time building your relationship or continuing to invest in it, it will eventually lose its value. For me the value of my relationship directly relates to how much time we choose to invest in it. If I am investing more time into than the other person and I am not seeing a return on my investment, be it equal time committed or progress in our relationship,  I will simply choose to divest my interest.

Time as a relationship currency can make it clear how much value you hold in someone else’s life at given time, especially in the building stages of a relationship. Unlike established relationships new relationship don’t appreciate in value based on the amount of time people have been in a relationship, only in an established relationship does the value of a person’s presence in your life appreciate.

So now that I have explained my train of thought I can vent…

I have been dating a person for a little over a year but lately they spend their time doing things that they feel are more important basically leaving me begging for time, and  ‘what I’m not gon do is…’ beg, especially when I didn’t ask him for anything but time. I didn’t expect anything from him but time and that time didn’t have to include extravagant dates of any kind. I begin to notice that whenever someone else needed him he was there and when there were times when I needed him and someone else needed him he always choose them over me. He felt that the amount of time he spent when he had nothing better to should make up for the times when he had to choose. I began to feel like he didn’t value our time together and thus he didn’t value out relationship. So I had to a make tough decision.

In relationships you have to choose what to settle for. In this situation I settled for his financial situation, his living situation, his age and his need to always make himself a victim, but I wasn’t going to settle for him feeling like he didn’t need to spend time with or on me. I mean he had no money, so time was the next best thing; word to all the guys out there you can’t be busy and broke. When a person has something to show for them being busy it makes it justifiable and it doesn’t have to be money. But when you are busy and you have nothing show for it but an excuse or some lame life happens story I lose my patience and cool. Why am I sitting around waiting on someone like a side chick? If I wanted that life I would be a side chick. So in the end I felt that because he wasn’t investing time in our relationship it was not valuable to him, thus I was not valuable to him and we broke up.

Well with that said time is important in a relationship and you can’t be in one if you don’t have any.


7 thoughts on “Time is a relationship currency: Putting time into a relationship is like putting money in the bank.”

  1. This was my train of thought about 3-4 weeks ago, although the walking away part is rarely easy. Logic says if he’s not wanting to spend time, then why would you want to be with someone that you have to beg to see? Logic also says that I don’t want to be with someone that doesn’t want to see me as much as I want to see them. But the heart is forever against the mind. As soon as I got home and was about to pick up the phone to say “it’s probably best we don’t see each other anymore…” he vowed to do better.
    And he has…but now, I’m like, why did it take all of that? Do I want to be with someone that was just fine with the bare minimum?
    “Time matters” is absolutely right. You shouldn’t have to explain what is “reasonable” and what is “unreasonable” amount of time if both people are on the same page. That intensity, especially in the beginning, should be matched.
    And so, I’m still in the situation…which is time sensitive in its existence. I’m in it to get all I can, which feels like it has a bigger lesson in the end. For now, my heart still rules and I accept responsibility.

    1. Thanks for commenting. Walking away was hard and still is but I have to take responsibility for that the same way you take you have to for your decision. As long as he continues to do better or you guys agree on whats acceptable it should work. Good Luck

      1. I used that app too. I think they have some decent guys on there compared to the other free dating apps. Met one guy so far who has really good potential so far. Good luck! It’s hard out here girl

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