NOT Being Mary Jane… Another show that makes being crazy, desperate and unreasonable OK.

Mary-Jane

So I finally marathon watched Being Mary Jane with Gabrielle Union on BET.  I watched it this way because I wasn’t that interested and so I needed to do it over the course of 2 days and I am not a Gabby Union fan.  This show highlighted a lot of stereotypes that apparently are a lot women’s realities because after the show some woman comes on through web cam and professes that she is Mary Jane as if it were an AA meeting. I am all for women’s empowerment and solidarity but I don’t think I have become desperate or crazy enough to identify with this character.  I feel the same way about Olivia Pope but Scandal is good for other reasons and Kerry Washington is freaking flawless in that show. I digress…

I am not Mary Jane and here is why… But I am still trying to figure out why anyone would admit that they are.

Mary Jane seems to not realize consequences of her actions until she is knee deep in a pile of her own shit that she created.  The bad things that happened were a direct result of her actions.  Don’t get me wrong I am not a saint and my foresight is not always that great but at the end of the day it doesn’t take tons of drama for me to acknowledge that I fucked up; including but not limited to wrecking a marriage and the suicide of a “friend”.

Mary Jane is ambitious with no goals.  Her life choices outside of her career are counter productive to what she says she wants.  Mary Jane sleeps with a married man, lets him move in with her after he leaves his wife and then dumps him for being married.  She is confused and self destructive.  She then stalks her ex, who has moved on and tells him that she wants him back.  But he then points out that she dumped him during his come up because it wasn’t happening fast enough for her.  So pretty much Mary Jane left him during his struggle and wants to reap the benefits of it. If your goal is to be married and have a family you have to take the necessary steps to make that happen.  I know that every man I get with is not going to be where I am or where I want him to be but if he is worth the trouble I think sticking around is how true Love works.  You don’t bail on the people you Love because they aren’t progressing at your pace.  The grind can be a long slow process. Most of all you can’t wait for an ex to become a millionaire and want him back,  that’s not fair or cool.

She has crazy ass female friends.  Honestly I have been known to say that I would go to jail for a night for my friends.  One night is my limit but I am a ride or die friend.  Your friends have to call you out on your crazy but that should not be pillars of crazy holding you up as the queen of crazy.  The show started with her friend trying to commit suicide, then that very same friend tells a guy that Mary Jane stole his sperm.  (*record scratches*…Yes Mary Jane stole a man’s sperm).  Then after it was all said and done the suicidal snitch friend, who is a gynecologist by the way, agrees to help her inseminate herself with this mans stolen sperm on the kitchen floor with a turkey baster.  Mary Jane’s other friend talks her in to going to the wife of the the man she had an affair with to apologize for her behavior.  I guess there was supposed to be nobility in this but in and earlier episode Mary Jane is speaking at a luncheon and throws and enormous amount of shade at this women during her speech.  I just don’t see how this is going to end well, and as a person who has been cheated on the mistresses apology was neither here nor there because she did not take responsibility for my feeling by being in a relationship with me. I guess I am lucky to have friends that would tell me to have a thousand fucking seats before they assisted me in any of the aforementioned bullshit.

So in No way do I feel I am Mary Jane and maybe my level of career success has not surpassed my level of personal happiness enough just yet.

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8 thoughts on “NOT Being Mary Jane… Another show that makes being crazy, desperate and unreasonable OK.”

  1. I loved Being Mary Jane… probably because it was completely realistic and not hollywood glam like the Carrie Bradshaw situations I’m used to seeing. Being Mary Jane was utterly ridiculous, but sadly very realistic, I know many mary janes. They seemingly have their shit together, to the outside world; but when you get into the cracks and crevices, their shit is completely messed up!

    Think about it, they say all men cheat…well most of those men are cheating with women…and a huge proportion of those women are willing. You probably had a lot of Mary Janes reading this, embarrassed as hell

  2. Love it, and I never even heard of Being Mary Jane or Gabrielle Union….though I have heard of BET (I think it stands for Being Entertained Tackily, which seems to be SOP almost everywhere one looks).

  3. Just think I should point out that a “friend” compared me to this woman…and I would also like to point out how we could not be less alike. The sad part is that this particular friend is actually the Mary Jane and doesn’t take enough time to reflect on the chaos she perpetuates in her own life. I am sick of of Black women being over-sexualized in the media, and when are the main characters of a show, we are either singing Mammies, or home wreckers and not only do we accept these stereotypes, we hold our other sisters to them . Many of us are successful, faithful, non bitchy, loyal mothers, daughters, lovers, wives, and friends. #thereIsaidit

Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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