Young Professional. I am beginning to hate what that means in this city. Being from the Midwest and being a new resident of Atlanta it is causing me to reevaluate a lot of things or just make different more concise observations when it comes to dating. Atlanta is the official City of Thirst in my mind. This city is driven by class, the illusion of wealth and earning potential. Women are trying to catch men and they have no idea how to go about it. Looks only get you so far and in a city of attractive successful women it can barely get you noticed.
I have a friend, and I use this term very loosely, who wants has these ridiculous expectations and guidelines and maybe because I don’t really have any, I don’t understand. I think that you should give a fair shot to anyone you are attracted to as long as they have a legitimate job and don’t ask you to spend your money. I am this way because as an independent woman I don’t think his financial status should have anything to do with me. Another thing that bothers me about her ridiculous expectations is that she is more concerned with looks and job title rather than personality and values. She wants a white collar black man, who is seemingly doing better than her financially, has 2 degrees, owns or can own a home, is at least 6’0 and light skinned. I laughed harder than you will ever understand when she said this because why does he need to be 6’0 when you are 5’4 and 5’10 in your highest platforms.. As our conversation went on I asked her what did she have to offer? She went on to give me her stats, the thing about it was that they are the same as every other single black women I know.
I completely understand having standards but I truly believe that you have to be open to possibilities in unlikely places. I don’t think that you have to take every endeavor seriously but getting to know someone a little regardless of your prejudgments can open you up to people and experiences that you very well miss out on otherwise. I also think that my life experiences have put me around so many different types of people that I tend to a not have too many preconceived notions. My approach is more show me who you rather than believing that I already know. I also like to give people the opportunity to surprise me.
So with all that being said I feel that as women, especially young black professional women, we have to stop seeming so thirsty. You are not the standard but you should become one. By that I mean in “The City of Thirst” don’t be like everyone else chasing what happens. Challenge yourself to be different, confident and independent; not pretending to be while waiting to be saved. Learn that in order to compliment a man you have to compliment yourself. Have depth, your opinions should be about more than the latest fashion trend and reality show. However know that your opinions are only as valuable to other people’s as their opinions are to you. And above all else before you even try to give your all to someone else, give it to yourself first. Real men can pick the lioness from the sheep.