I’m at a strange place where I enjoy my singledom but I also want someone to share my experiences and have sex with on regular basis. I like the fact that I can come home and not be bothered but call on someone when I want company. So with my current endeavor whom my friends call the “Transporter” it has worked because it seemed as if we were looking for the same type of thing. Companionship without expectation and loyalty without commitment. However I am getting the sense that he is involved with some one a far deeper level than what we have. We have been doing this thing for 5 months and while it has been a good experience some of his actions have made me begin to question some things. Of course over 5 months our relationship has evolved into a little bit more than what we bargained for. It’s definitely more than dating and when I ask him about it he blushes “I like you but you scare me a little”. “The Transporter” is a cool calm collected man. He is like the cross between two of my favorite men. It’s like the perfect combination.
Our rules state that there shall be no questions that evoke an emotional response. But I realize that this emotional distance that we have tried to create can’t last and the fact that I sense there is someone closer to him than me bothers me because I am not the side chick type, be it emotional or physical. However I absolutely Love we have at this moment but my pride… It eats me; the thought of being a side chick. The thought of asking someone to choose me is not in my life plan for two reasons. The first being that I”m awesome and have numerous options available to me and the second being my Mama taught me better that.
Stay tuned this is not the end of this story. As of now I’m at a lost so as I figure it out I will share with you guys.