Get Your Life!!!!!: Letters to my Whys, Nevers and I Should Have Done Betters

Dear Mr Impossible,

I am the best chick you will ever find to complete you.  That will deal with your bullshit and understand that you are one flawed individual.  Please wake up.  When you find a chick better than me please invite me to the wedding.  I am not saying I am different from and other chick I am just your best match. I went through a lot for you and you still don’t want to deviate from your life’s ideal timetable.  So while you are still looking for the other half of your power couple or you wake up alone at 32, I will be sure to find someone who doesn’t give me half the excuses and a quarter of the BS. I am tired of the you are not ready speeches.  Please honey just stand over there and get your life.

xoxo,

Tired of waiting L & L

Dear Mr College Fling turned I have no idea what we are at this point,

We graduated years ago and you are about to graduate with your 3rd degree. WTF are we doing?  This is becoming ridiculous and until you can admit that this is more than sex, because we both know sex is easier to come by, the faster we can both Get our lives.  I could understand if this was about convenience but this stopped be convenient a very long time ago.  Probably around the time when you moved four hours away to another state…. I am tired of trying to cut you off and you not getting the hint, but that’s probably my fault. I am also tired of the charade of emotional distance that no longer exist. I Love you and I am the best you will ever have in that way, but it’s time for this to become a memory.  Please Please Please Get Your Life and allow me to finally get mine.

xoxo,

Never wanted anything more L&L

Dear Mr I don’t like gays DJ,

I’m pretty sure that you are gay, so please come out already.  You are entirely too awkward to continue to hide the fact that you are not interested in women in that way.  I’m no longer taking  it personal and I’m sure your mom will Love you anyway.  Your disdain for gay men but disinterest in women kind of gave you away.  If you want to continue the ploy of being straight, do yourself a favor and stay away from Lenox Mall and the Buckhead/Midtown area on the weekends. Besides everyone around you knows, Get Your Life and stop pretending,

xoxo,

It wasn’t me it was you L&L

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Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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