Friends with Benefits Gone Awry

What do you when the person you crave looks pass you? Keep in mind this person is always around always a friend and always an outlet.  What do you do?  I really don’t have an answer for this.  This post is not a declaration it is simply a brainstorm. I don’t always know the answer to my questions and sometimes I never figure them out.

I know that friends with benefits can be beneficial in some instances.  I know that sometimes you actually become friends. You learn how to put a wall up and you just separate the sex from the friendship.  Honestly you can only spend so much  time being naked with someone without creating a certain level of comfort with them; and we know where that leads.

Friends with benefits should have an expiration date.  We all need to grow and learn to be emotional and open to the possibility of being hurt.  At some point friends with benefits has to progress or stop. Progression is what happens sometimes.  But how do you just stop???  It turns into your drug of choice only needing a fix every now and then.  But this fix fast becomes a habit and the next thing you know, you are thinking about forever and what that would mean if it was together.  But there is this wall…

The rules that you created to protect yourself in the beginning have become your worst enemy and what you forgot to do was get to know the person you have spent so much time with; naked.  All the time that was focused on the physical has become this emotional burden because the person you have seemingly become the closest to and care about on a more than basic level is actually a stranger that has built the same wall you built in the beginning and they have become very comfortable with it while you are ready to tear it down.

What you learn in trying to tear this wall down is that they continue to build it higher and with stronger material because the truth is, the only part you play in their life at this moment is the only part they ever want you play.  The friendship was an added bonus and they actually don’t value it much at all.

As much as it hurts you move on, you move on learning a very important lesson. What the lesson will be for you,  I really don’t know but we all have to live and learn.  My lesson was simply value the people who actually value you. If you come to point where you have to question your worth to another a person then its time to move on; be it friendships or relationships.


6 thoughts on “Friends with Benefits Gone Awry”

  1. Reblogged this on The Truth About Dating and commented:
    This is a good perspective on FWB gone wrong. Many of my readers have enjoyed my post “Friends With Benefits vs Cut Buddies”. A lot of you have emailed for more advice about FWB relationships. This post should give more insight for when friends with benefits doesn’t work out. Check it out!!

  2. Sometimes you have to just walk away, especially when you realize your feelings have gotten involve. It can go down hill fast.

Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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