My five year old niece said this to me and it stuck, no one had ever put it that way. There are times in our lives when we don’t want to accept our part of the responsibility. The times you could have done some things better or just been a better person overall. The times when you were or are in situations and you complain about them even though you don’t have to be in them. Or how about the times when things start on one one path and then takes a sharp turn in another direction. Here are few situations when you get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.
The all sex relationship that never goes anywhere- Most of the times these relationship stay about sex, because you haven’t actually invested much more in it. The amount of Oxytocin that flood the brain with each orgasm may lead you to believe that you truly have feelings for this person, but in all actuality you don’t really know them. Your elevated hormone level has tricked you into thinking it could work it but doesn’t because of the things you weren’t privy to or simply overlooked from the beginning. Don’t pysch yourself out; try to have a conversation that doesn’t include a back being blown out and make a sound decision whether it will or should go anywhere.
The passionless relationship- This a result of people not willing to move on so they choose to stay. It’s not that they don’t Love the person but they are no longer in Love will them and the possibility of falling in Love again is gone. I have a friend whom I spoke to about this last week . It was a case where he and his girlfriend have been together since high school, so for about 10 years. They have been together through various ups and downs and although they have talked about marriage he doesn’t think he wants to be with her forever anymore. I think that this is one of those situations where you just end up doing what has been familiar and what feels most safe. Though you can see he no longer gets excited about her he will never leave her. He will probably end up marrying her and it will end in a terrible hurtful divorce. Although I hope they live happily ever after I don’t think they will; 10 years no engagement. Don’t be afraid to move on and to find the joy in your relationship. I choose the word Joy because I think that being joyful is more fulfilling than happy.
The one sided relationship- If you are the person who carries the relationship on your back you are losing; but this is a situation you like in some sick way. The purpose of a relationship is to find some person that makes you better in some way. I don’t think it should be one sided. If you feel like the person’s effort level is -2 and yours is 10 then you probably are taking what you can get. At some point you have to decide what level of effort you are willing to put in, and what do you expect your return to on that investment to be. Don’t break your back for someone who is not breaking theirs for you.
All of this situations are fluid and dependent upon what you choose to be a part of you can’t constantly complain about situation that you have control over. We can all decide to change things about our lives we just have to have the courage to do so. But until then in the words a very wise 5 year old. You Get What You Get and You Don’t Throw a Fit.