I am always in awe of people who can sustain a long distance relationship, for several reasons. By long distance I mean more than 6 hours away. I think that any trip that is going to take more that 1/2 a days drive to and from needs more planning and preparation. Maybe it’s because I’ve never had to do it? Maybe, I don’t think that I could? Maybe, I know that I may not be built for that type of situation; although that doesn’t mean that I wouldn’t. So in along distance relationship what does one do when he or she gets lonely and wants someone to keep them company???? I tend to think about these things, because I don’t believe that distance makes the heart grow fonder. I’m not sure that in a relationship that didn’t start off as long distance that it would ever work, unless of course there was no temptation what so ever and here is why.
No Bed Checks: You say you’re going to call it a night, but what you’re really doing is playing music and hanging out with friends, maybe you hit a club. The next morning when asked how your night was you say it was good. After all it was good, but you didn’t exactly call it a night.
Distance Creates Distance: Although you Love and care about this person you are not in close enough proximity to truly witness how your actions affect your partner. Physical distance make it’s easier to create emotional distance between people. Kinda like how we all know that there are starving children around the world, but seeing how they are not starving in our front yards we don’t exactly feel bad about it. Well we don’t feel bad about it for a prolonged period of time.
You no longer live in a Vin Diagram: In any relationship you have overlapping circles. You know who your partners friends are, you know where they hang out and you have things that overlap. In a long distance relationship your circle completely does it’s own thing. Your partner doesn’t relate to the things that are taking place in you life on a realistic level. They don’t have the references needed to know how you met your new friend, at your new favorite bar. This can make it difficult to maintain relatabilty. Every city has it’s own thing going on and if you’re not in that city enough you get mentally lost in the shuffle.
Lonely but not alone: According to Wikipedia loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person feels a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationship. In a long distance relationship it has less to do with the actual emotional relationship and more to do with the physical. Physically being alone sucks; especially when you know that someone would like to be with you, so in the end you crave the physical closeness that is lacking in the emotional relationship.
These are the four main reasons I don’t think long distance relationships work. I am not opposed to trying one if I needed to, but I am skeptical about the sustainability. I think there is a certain amount of physical contact that is needed to sustain any relationship. Now this is all just my opinion and seeing how I have never been in one, you can’t exactly take this as law. However I commend those that somehow make it work. Those people who lets their Love prevail over all else.