Is Being In Love Overrated ???

Is it just me or are people settling now days?  My friend who is not American told me that my obsession with being in Love is going to eventually land me single, alone with a few dogs and my writings because it’s unrealistic to think that the passion will last forever. He explained that in his culture people don’t marry for Love, they marry for status and connections and the Love comes later. It is not an arranged marriage but you don’t go looking for Love you look for the greatest connections and status; that is how you pick a partner.  I understand that over time you can grow to Love anyone, but is it just me or am I missing out on something.  If all I look for is status and connections I don’t think about how this person affects my personality and make me an overall better person, I feel that I will never be fully fulfilled.  Needless to say that I am a bit of romantic when it comes to relationships; recently being named the “Defender of Love” lol.

In my opinion, which is probably because I am deeply in student loan debt, not really on any career path and kinda just floating my way through life at this point; Love is a very important component in any relationship that I plan on being in for a long period of time.   So yes, my views may be jaded by my current status but I hope that I would feel this way regardless of my position.  It is very important to me, that you Love the person you choose to be with, that we take the time to understand how that person affects us emotionally and spiritually rather than economically.  Status can only be so beneficial.  I would like to think that if you find a person who pushes you to be the best you that you will ever be, then that trumps any status that person can provide. Now I know that Love can’t pay the bills, but it can make it easier if things go south and the bills end up not getting paid. Love can’t feed you but it is the glue that holds people together, it is the food for the soul.

Maybe it’s my thirst for Love that puts me on the never-ending quest to find it.  Maybe there is so much about Love that I don’t understand that I have a very idealized view of what it should be like.  Having been in  Love I know what it feels like when it’s real and how complete you feel when its mutual. Now I know someone is going to read this and think you have to learn to complete yourself. I don’t think we were meant to complete ourselves I believe there is someone for everyone but you have to be patient and realistic when looking for him or her;  being more open to the possibility of Love and less consumed with the idea that social positioning and status will make a person more compatible. I am not suggesting that you never give a thought to economics because it is an important component, simply I am saying that shouldn’t be the primary motivation.


13 thoughts on “Is Being In Love Overrated ???”

  1. I don’t agree with marrying for status and then waiting for Love. You should marry the man / woman you love and then be with them for ever an ever.
    Clinical tests show that “passionate” love only lasts a max of 2 years and after that you are staying with the same person because of fondness, common interests, boredom or the fear of not finding something as good as him again.
    My ideal world would be one where I could fall in love every two years with the same man.
    And if the man ain’t good, who made you pick him? 😉 meaning, fall for whomever you like, but make sure they are good enough for you (social position and wealth counting)

      1. True. No point having a lazy partner when you’re up and active and turning more white hairs every year (like me). Not yet 29 but with an imperative need to dye my hair every 2 weeks (or the roots)

  2. Love is a conscious effort and there are many different components to it… ideally you never lose some of that infatuation type love you have after the first two years, but it is a choice.

      1. But then again… there are couples still totally in love after 40 years (my great-grandparents were married for 75 years and after she died, he went within 6 months…)

  3. I completely agree with you. Love first, the rest comes later. The idea of marrying status sounds like a recipe for divorce to me. A persons status can change, then what?

  4. I have been told many times that I am too obsessed with love and that I’m too picky. I also had someone propose marriage and follow up with ” We will grow to love each other.” I don’t believe in being with someone that I don’t already have a connection to for the sake of status.I think that we have the right to hold out for love. We deserve love! Even if I do end up alone, I think that’s better than marrying someone that doesn’t love me. What keeps the marriage together if there is no love? Obligation? That only goes so far but real unconditional love can get us through the tough times.

  5. Love is something so beautiful, and when you find it it makes you want to keep it all your life. When love is lost it can be the most painful thing in the world. I was deeply in love once and it was the most beautiful feeling I have ever felt. I will find that same feeling again some day, and I won’t let it go. 🙂 Keep looking for love, love is what fuels this world. People don’t know that yet.

    Blithe M.

      1. I completely agree. I was completely in love with my ex boyfriend, and yes, after the breakup I was bitter. I am bitter. I was hurt so badly. But i know I still have so much love to give. I just have to love myself, and forgive those who hurt me.

Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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