Loyal, Lazy, Afraid of being Lonely and Selling Yourself Short

Have you ever wondered why people stay in relationships when you know for a fact they can do better?  Have you stayed in relationship knowing that it was just good enough but you weren’t totally fulfilled?  I am going to address some of the issues I see with people in these relationships based on my observations of the people around me.

Loyal:

Loyalty is a very good quality to have. It is always good to have your significant others back no matter what.  Loyalty is a key part of commitment and it is what creates trust in relationships.  However the greatest loyalty one can have before marriage and children is to one’s self.  If you tell me that you are in a relationship because you feel like you are the most positive part of the person’s life, I have to ask what effect are they having on your life? Loyalty will look at the potential of the person instead if where they are now.  In some instances this is a good thing but in others not so much.  Sometimes we are so focused on what a person can be we don’t look at who they are now.  Loyalty can blind to the fact that this person has no work ethic even though they have the necessary skills to work. Loyalty can make us think that our unwavering commitment is more important than any other aspects of the relationship.

Tired of being Lonely and Lazy:

Some things about being single are awesome and some are not.  There comes a point when you are surrounded by couples and even excluded for not being in a relationship. Sometimes when this happens we settle.  We get into a relationship with the first person interested in being in one with us.  We have the satisfaction of being with someone.  We are no longer lonely and when we start to figure out that this was not the best idea. We are too lazy to find someone new and too afraid of being lonely again. I completely understand that if the puzzle piece doesn’t fit we can trim to make sure that it does; but in the end it will mess up the puzzle’s intended picture. Afraid of being lonely, and being lazy, is settling there is no other was to slice that cake. At this point, not only are we afraid of loneliness and lazy, but now we are loyal to this person who is seemingly ok for us but not the best fit.

Selling yourself short:

In the past I thought that people date according to who they were surrounded by and who they were approached by. The older and more experienced in this dating scenario I get, the more I find that is only somewhat true.  People in my age group, frequent the same places, no matter what their occupation and social standing.  As a matter of fact, I have a friend who is approached by all types of guys, but in my opinion, she always to seem to go for the lower caliber guys.  I am starting to think that she doesn’t think that she is good enough. Maybe she wants to prove that she is still down.  What ever the case is I always think she is selling herself short. When I compare who she chooses to date, to who she could potentially date I am baffled. I refuse to sell myself short in terms of dating. I have just as much to offer  if not more than my competition; but that may just be the cocky me talking.  I don’t think you should ever sell yourself short when dating.  You just end up wasting time.

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4 thoughts on “Loyal, Lazy, Afraid of being Lonely and Selling Yourself Short”

  1. Your point on loyalty is so true…sometimes we fall for the person they can be…and have selective amnesia for the person they actually are…maybe will always be…I think it’s the exceptations we carry around manifest this dilemma

  2. awesome post! I’ll admit that I’ve done this very thing and found out later that “potential” be damned! a person will be what they will be for as long as they want to be that person. you either put up with it or put yourself out of it.

Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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