Ladies…Ladies…Ladies. It has been brought to my attention that not all of us possess the gift of flirting. I think that it is imperative to know how to flirt without looking like a skank or awkward, actually the worst look you can have is awkward skank. Awkward skanks look like they are trying entirely to hard to be sexy, funny, and cute. Almost worst than a woman who choose to wear shoes too advanced for their skill level, or that are too small. Which brings me to another point, don’t follow the latest trends if you aren’t comfortable and confident in them… I digress. The easiest way to flirt is to be yourself. This post will detail how I flirt when I’m in a bar or club setting. If you are flirting challenged I hope this helps.
I start by accepting a compliment or greeting if it’s given and give one in return. Be confident, sit up straight, and make eye contact. As I make eye contact I subtly make physical contact, touch his arm or back. Just be sure to notice if the eye contact makes him uncomfortable. Everyone doesn’t respond the same way to eye contact, so if it makes him uncomfortable only look into his eyes for moments at a time. Smile and look happy to be talking to him because at this moment he is the only person in the room besides me; however if his attention is floating around I don’t waste my time trying to keep it. Body language is important. I’ve found that if I look like I’m having a good time someone will want to have a good time with me. If I look like I can think of a several other places to be instead, they won’t. So I look inviting enough to be approached. After a few minutes of conversation and subtle physical contact, I move close enough to be smelled, even grazed, but not close enough to be held or hugged. I don’t keep this distance for too long, because I don’t want it to seem as though I am pushing myself on to him, simply signifying if he wants to come closer I will be ok with that. Continue with varying amounts of eye contact and have a slight grin, look entertained if I’m interested. After too long I leave to continue whatever it was that I was doing before I came into contact with him. I talk to friends or even strangers, dance and have a drink or two. If he is still interested he will approach me again. If not it was fun while it lasted. I usually flirt for the thrill of it, the final approach will more than likely lead to a let down.
If I am not interested halfway through the conversation I make up an excuse to move or I’m very blunt and say I’m not interested. I like the blunt approach so that later in the night I don’t have to turn the same person down again.
The thing about flirting is that you have to control the distance, the physical contact and even the flow of the conversation but be natural about it. Don’t force it, just go with it. If things get uncomfortable, exit stage left… Flirting is not too hard, it shouldn’t involve too much thought and it shouldn’t look like you’re trying. Be natural and have fun, keep an open mind. Sometimes flirting is only eye contact and a smile throughout the night and a hand on the small of the back as you pass by, it doesn’t have to involve everything listed above. Just do what feels natural or at least make it look that way, even if you have to psych your self out.