Rant #314

So yeah… my blog recently turned more into a journal but I promise to get back to my usually fuckery soon. I’m restless lately and it has everything to do with the fact that I feel a little stuck.  In my defense I have my reasons.  This is not my usual post type but what the heck. 

I was raised in a little city in Michigan, where you might get pregnant from slow dancing.  I Love my city and it comes out most when I’m intoxicated.   My bff and I say that our type of fun can be described as overtly sexual, extremely intoxicated, including bouts of hood and ratchetness, with a touch of class.  This rings true.  I like my heels high, my dresses short, my hair and makeup laid for the easy breezy beautiful bad bitch that I am.  However lately I have been going to work, coming home, and looking for a restful weekend like the rest of the world.  Maybe this is considered growing up and if it is I don’t want to participate. A week from Friday we will embark on an incredible journey that I am sure will have us telling our stories for the next year.  I know it will be epic and I can’t wait to get some alone time with my friends.  And the fact that there is a strong possibility that the weather will be amazing makes me :D. There is something to be said about great friends and I have  two of the very best.  I LOVE them so much.

Lately  I’ve felt rather off-balance in my life and I think I need to start going to church again.  Ever since I was a child I always had an issues with morality; my sense of right and wrong is flawed at times.  I am not struggling with this so much anymore because my mom has pounded into me; right is what you would like someone to do to, or for you.  I think that is pretty simple way to go about life. But I have been struggling in other areas of my life and maybe church will do for me now what it has in the past. I’ve started to work out at 6 am and I actually enjoy being in the gym that early just me and the guys who run every other day, and the man who works out in a skull-cap a hoodie as if he’s training for a fight.  Most people would have a problem getting up that early but I don’t and I enjoy the active solitude.  I wanted to start this meditation class at the buddhist temple however, it would have cut into my together time, but I felt and still do feel like I need it.   I don’t really know if I have to be interested in becoming a buddhist to participate, I am not interested in the religion, just the meditation. But then I found out that it is 30 mins from my house and I will try to meditate closer to home. I was told I should find a church and pray instead which is a viable option.

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Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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