I had a very interesting conversation with my Dad. My Dad is an interesting character to say to the least, but he has taught me a lot about what to accept. Last night he actually talked about his recent divorce, which I will not go into. The most interesting part was, don’t sweat the small stuff. If a man does what men are supposed to do, and supply all of your basic necessities for living, you have to look past the little things. In previous post I mentioned that my Dad is an advocate of men being providers, but makes it clear that women should contribute. The thing I wanted to ask my Dad, but I just wasn’t that brave, “What’s considered small stuff?” Haven’t you heard people complain about their partners and wonder if it was really worth addressing?
I think the major problem with saying don’t sweat the small stuff is that “small” is subjective. To me not wanting to go shopping all the time is small stuff. If he doesn’t enjoy everything that I enjoy, it’s small. If perhaps he is flirty at the bar or clubs its small. But these things aren’t small to everyone. In relationships you need to know what small stuff to your partner is. My boyfriend has said with me he doesn’t sweat the big stuff, lol. Over the years we have kind of figured out what’s big and small to each other and have learned some of the things that are big to him I don’t even think about.
We have a tendency to think the standards of behavior are stagnant and in fact they are fluid. I cook on a regular basis and to me cooking is a small thing, I don’t do it because I am trying secretly trying to fatten up my man so no one else wants him; I do it because it’s cathartic for me. However to some women that is how they show their love; and my boyfriend has made it very clear that he doesn’t want me willy nilly cooking for people because I enjoy it. So while I think cooking is small. It is in fact a big deal to some people. Just be sure you know what small stuff is, and respect that what may be small to you is big to them.