Navigating friendships while in a relationship can be tricky. Your social circles began to intersect, loyalty lines can blurred and you can begin to think that everyone is friends. What people get twisted is the fact that just because everyone is cool, loyalty has to lie somewhere. When dealing with your significant others friends, loyalty never lies with you. If your friends have significant others, then your friend will probably be loyal to them. Honestly there is nothing anyone can tell me about my boyfriend that I will not check with him because that relationship is a very intimate one and I know and understand things about him that even his closest friends don’t know or understand.
My boyfriend and I have been together a long time, we party together and hang out with each other friends, sometimes even when we are not together. His friends are cool with my friends and our social circles have almost completely intertwined. Well… I have noticed that his friends watch me like hawk when he’s not around. I will admit that I get a little loose when I drink, and by loose I mean, skanky; sprinkled with a little slut and dash of hoe. I exude all kinds of sexual energy; I haven’t figured out a way to control it and I don’t know if I want to.While I don’t particularly care for his friends at times because of their nosey tendencies, I understand that they are his friends and I respect that fact. What his friends don’t understand is that they will never know the dynamics of our relationship as well as we know them. And quite frankly they can’t tell him anything about me that he doesn’t already know. I tell him all kinds of things even when he doesn’t want to hear it or it might hurt. I always tell him to do what he wants at the bar/club just don’t bring it home to me. Another important thing to point out is that I know what his friends think of me and in all honesty I don’t care, so I might act an extra fool just so they have something to talk about.
Relationships can ruin friendships and friendships can ruin relationships. With my friends the policy is: if I ask you for your opinion give it, but if I don’t keep your opinions to yourself. I don’t think there is a place for a bunch or perspectives on my relationship from family, friends or otherwise. Too many people stick their nose into business that is not theirs, if your friend or relative is happy; you should be happy for them. Now of course I am not speaking of instances that can cause some kind of harm, in which cases of course you have to speak up. I am just pointing out that there are appropriate times for input, and more often than not, if your input is not sought out then it’s not needed. We should all learn to mind our own business when it comes to our friends’ relationships and be very aware of who your friends are if you are in a relationship. My boyfriend’s friends are not, in any way shape or form, my friends; and my friends are not his friends.