*************This post will contain all kinds of contradictions **************
I can not believe that in 2012 this is still a relevant topic but sadly it is. I honestly don’t know how I feel about interracial couples. On the one hand I would like to say that as a black woman it doesn’t sting a little when you see a black man happy with a woman of a different race; but it does. But the flip side of that is, that little sting doesn’t trump the fact that people should and can fall for whomever they want. I don’t think that I, or anyone else, have the right to impose anti miscegenation on anyone. This does not take away from the fact that it does sting, and at times it even feels like a gut punch. I know this sounds crazy to some of you but I feel as though being a black woman trying to a find a man we have the slimmest pickings imaginable. Our options outside of our race are limited at best and it does not help that our biggest critics are black men. There are various reasons societally why this has happened and I believe that it’s not going to change anytime soon.
Why does it sting? It stings because there are times when my fly, semi successful, black self, looks around realizes that no one is checking for me. Not the guy in blue tie or the red tie. Not the white guy or the black guy. It truly makes you question your worth; I am attractive, educated and very well spoken, yet I get no looks. Not even one. It’s kind of like being the last on picked for a team in middle school but you don’t get picked. It stings because you have to wonder what is wrong with you, or what is wrong with the world. At the end of the day a lot of the successful black men are taken by women who don’t like me. And while we like to believe that, people date in their social circles; these negroes don’t have any white friends, and wouldn’t give a black women the time of day.
So if it stings so badly why do I feel like its ok. A close friend of mine who chooses not to date out side of his race said that he chooses not to because not one can understand his plight like a black women. While fundamentally this may be true. I feel as though he discounts the power of Love and while a person of another race may not firsthand understand what it is that we go through; they can learn and become more aware of the challenges we face. I think that Love is blind and you can’t help who you Love, and if a white man came along and can Love me for all that I am I would give it shot. There is so much embedded in a racial identity that we all have to fight some of the things that we have been taught and the things that we believe about ourselves and others. Interracial relationships bring out a lot of these beliefs.
There is much more that I can say about this but the bottom line is the stings don’t trump the fact that Love is blind and we should embrace that.