I’ve been reading a lot of post and articles about women on the side. After some consideration I decided to give my 3 1/2 cents. Personally, I will not knowingly get involved with a person in a relationship. I just think it’s in bad taste. All the men out here I will not share one. I am, to be blunt, selfish and I like to have the attention when I want it. I don’t wish to compete or be second to anyone other than his family. Having been cheated on in the past I do not blame the basic ass females doing this. Only your significant other is obligated to care about your feelings. The times that I have been cheated on I reacted in various ways. The first time I was young and dumb, I befriended the other woman; to this day I don’t know why. The second time I blamed him. (By the way these were two different men. ) I blamed him for everything. It was then I realized that only he could hurt me emotionally.
Having been the girlfriend I can honestly say that I despise woman who will settle for being the side chick. I just don’t get. I guess I think I deserve a hell of a lot. I remember reading the message between them and thinking “Really?”. If you always have to question where you stand with a person is it worth the energy? She was questioning her place in his life and settling for attending his classes, seeing him at work and probably a meal or two. I’m sorry but in all of my years in college I never attended anyones classes but my own. We lived together so it was a pretty clear to me what he did with his free time. I truly don’t know the full extent of their relationship but I know enough to know that, she was settling for less than I would have ever settled for. I just feel like you don’t take what you can get; you take what you feel like you are entitled to. I say that I despise them because I feel like it cheapens the value of women. Like Erica Mena said on Love and Hip Hop “You messing up my Money Bi$*h when you doing sh-t for free.”, she used it in a completely different context but it applies here. Why would a man put in the work when he can get all the perks with little effort.
I don’t know how this correlates to self-worth I actually don’t care. I think that if you’re about that life go for it. I, for one, am not here for that. I like to feel needed and how can he need me when he goes home to someone else. How can he really value me if he has someone who he gives more time and energy to? I don’t get what women get out of being the woman on the side. It makes no sense to me. There is always the it’s just physical argument, well if that’s the case, it should not be a recurring situation; it should be once in a while without the constant communication and envy of the actual girlfriend. If the woman on the side can say she doesn’t want the top spot more power to her, but I am not talking to her. I’m talking about the women who are looking for love when they are getting leftovers.
All in all I don’t blame the women because they are clearly desperate heauxs getting it how ever they can.