My views on the other woman/side-chick.

I’ve been reading a lot of post and articles about women on the side. After some consideration I decided to give my 3 1/2 cents.  Personally, I will not knowingly get involved with a person in a relationship.  I just think it’s in bad taste.  All the men out here I will not share one.  I am, to be blunt, selfish and I like to have the attention when I want it.  I don’t wish to compete or be second to anyone other than his family.  Having been cheated on in the past I do not blame the basic ass females doing this.  Only your significant other is obligated to care about your feelings.  The times that I have been cheated on I reacted in various ways.  The first time I was young and dumb, I befriended the other woman; to this day I don’t know why. The second time I blamed him.  (By the way these were two different men. ) I blamed him for everything. It was then I realized that only he could hurt me emotionally.

Having been the girlfriend I can honestly say that I despise woman who will settle for being the side chick.  I just don’t get. I guess I think I  deserve a hell of a lot.  I remember reading the message between them and thinking “Really?”.  If you always have to question where you stand with a person is it worth the energy?  She was questioning her place in his life and settling for attending his classes, seeing him at work and probably a meal or two.  I’m sorry but in all of my years in college I never attended anyones classes but my own. We lived together so it was a pretty clear to me what he did with his free time. I truly don’t know the full extent of their relationship but I know enough to know that, she was settling for less than I would have ever settled for. I just feel like you don’t take what you can get; you take what you feel like you are entitled to. I say that I despise them because I feel like it cheapens the value of women.  Like Erica Mena said on Love and Hip Hop “You messing up my Money Bi$*h when you doing sh-t for free.”, she used it in a completely different context but it applies here. Why would a man put in the work when he can get all the perks with little effort.

I don’t know how this correlates to self-worth I actually don’t care.  I think that if you’re about that life go for it.  I, for one, am not here for that.  I like to feel needed and how can he need me when he goes home to someone else.  How can he really value me if he has someone who he gives more time and energy to? I don’t get what women get out of being the woman on the side.  It makes no sense to me. There is always the it’s just physical argument, well if that’s the case, it should not be a recurring situation; it should be once in a while without the constant communication and envy of the actual girlfriend.  If the woman on the side can say she doesn’t want the top spot more power to her, but I am not talking to her.  I’m talking about the women who are looking for love when they are getting leftovers.

All in all I don’t blame the women because they are clearly desperate heauxs getting it how ever they can.


6 thoughts on “My views on the other woman/side-chick.”

  1. Hmm valid points. Sometimes the woman on the side doesn’t KNOW they’re a side dish…and sometimes the man keeps telling them they are going to leave their main squeeze, and/or trash talks the girlfriend/wife to the lady on the side. Have you ever seen Match Point? That’s a good one. Oooh, or Closer.

    ALSO don’t forget many many women have men on the side! Not always the dude who is the cheater.

    Diggin’ the blog.

    1. Actually I have seen those movies. I was just addressing women who knowingly play this role, but this can apply to men as well. If a person sells you adream you have to eventually wake up, if the dream never becomes a reality. I don’t fall for trash talk actually I don’t even entertain it.

      Thanks for reading.

  2. Great post. You make many valid and true points. Why do women want to be on the side, this, I have yet to figure out. My fiance has had many side pieces over the past 6 years of our relationship and I just don’t get it. He doesn’t take them out, they do not reap the rewards of his money, time, and energy, but yet they assume their position.

    I have read text messages over and over from diffent girls. One from his side piece actually said, when are you going to take me out to dinner and treat my like the lady I am? My fiance then replied, this is not take a ho out to dinner night! I almost died when I read this. He doesn’t even pretend to be emotional to them. With him, its all about sex. He shows up, they pull down their pants, or get on their knees, and he is out the door in 45 minutes. I just don’t get it. . .

    However, I do believe that to some women it is a challenge. I think they try so hard to see if they can “take” the married man or the other womens man away from their #1. Im sure that there have been a few that have accomplished that, but most men will never leave their wife, girlfriend, #1, whatever you want to call us. . .

    It is what it is. I have dealt with this for so many years. . . I believe it also becomes a challenge to the #1 as well. Step up your game, shes not getting my man. It becomes a very unhealthy cycle for all parties involved, but. . .the women continue.

    I speak as though this does not hurt me at all, and that I am fine with his side pieces, however, that is not the case. Unfortunatley, I have dealt with this for so long. I have had dealt with so many women on the side, you have no idea. They to me, are all pathetic. The saddest part was, they all knew he was involved. Women like that, have absolutely no respect for themselves.

    1. If he is serial cheater I honestly don’t think he is worth your time anymore. I don’t know you or your situation but there comes point when you have to figure what is going on with you that makes you deal with the nonsense. He has it all you and the women on the side, but he shouldn’t be allowed to have it all. If you are his fiance and he is still cheating the marriage will be no different. You are worth far more than someone who continously cheats and I am complete stranger on the internet telling you this but it is true. No real man will put you through the constant stress that cheating causes and if he does then he does not care enough about you for you stick around. But that’s just my two cents.

Don't make me think I'm writing to myself...What do you think???

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