Winning Arguments and Hurting Feelings

“Sticks and stones can break bones but words will break a heart.”  -Me

Watch what you say… Words Hurt!

In my relationship I have learned to watch what I say this simply because emotions don’t always bring out the best in me, as a matter of fact, sometimes it brings out the worst. I use to, and still do, get irritated with my man because he takes so long to think about what he is going to say when we are mid argument.  Seriously his life flashed before my eyes because I was 3 seconds from ripping the words out of his mouth.  He always takes his time which makes arguments extremely difficult for me.  I am the type of person who can argue for hours non stop because, well I like to think that in a past life I was some hot shot lawyer, but really because I don’t have to be right I just have to prove that there is a possibility that he is wrong. In doing this I sometimes alienate him, when we should be working on problems together. I would be so focused on winning the argument that I would lose sight of finding a solution.  I have said things in the heat of an argument not because I felt those things overall but I felt that way in the moment.

When he takes his time and is thoughtful and careful I’ve been forced to think about what I am going to say as well as listen to what he’s saying.  He forces me to calm down a little after each point, so that my words are not so explosive and hurtful.  He takes his time to think because he doesn’t want to be misinterpreted and he doesn’t want to hurt my feelings unnecessarily. I don’t always have that kind of forethought. Words hurt and they hurt because we don’t think about what we say.  We don’t consider the lasting affects this may have on our relationships.  Be thoughtful and watch what you say a 2 min argument could leave bruises or even wounds that can take a long time, or that will never heal.

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2 thoughts on “Winning Arguments and Hurting Feelings”

  1. Yeah, my man takes long to take back when we are arguing and mostly it frustrates me a-lot I actually start talking more that needed. Maybe I should practice more patience and learn to back off when he needs time to phrase his words…but its soooooooooooooo hard!

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