What we can all learn from Kimye???

Any press is good press, lol.  For the record, I believe Kim and Kanye are in a real relationship, however the number of fucks I give about them and their situation might be somewhere between not many and negative 8.  I decided to write about them because people won’t stop talking about it so I am cant help jumping on this damned band wagon. See even more press.

Birds of a feather might flock together after all.  Both Kim and Kanye seem to Love attention.  I don’t know them in real life so I may be wrong.  Aside from loving attention, they love fashion, their families, the paparazzi, leather pants, money and they both like to have relationships that overlap or happen concurrently.  I think that we attract people who we have things in common with.  It makes it easier to relate each other or at least be around each other for long periods of time.

Some people elevate you to another level.  It is a common belief that people date people of their own caliber or at least what they think their caliber is. That is not  always true, some women look for a higher status than their own or someone who can help them achieve a higher one eventually. Kim is gaining access to all types of things we would never see her at, ie the BET awards, with Beyonce, on the front row at fashion week fashion shows.  Kanye is is getting crazy props from all men everywhere, and she is his new muse. Kim is giving him all kinds of material for albums to come,  if it doesn’t work out the album will be even better.

Be who you are but embrace suggestions. Just because someone has clothing line, calls them self a designer and offers to buy you a new wardrobe doesn’t mean they should dress you. Kanye is apparently such a renown clothing designer that he has decided to style Kim and she actually agreed, even being seen in those ridiculous shoes.  While I understand supporting your man in all his endeavors I will never condone fixing things that aren’t broken.  Kim has a great sense of style and is a fool for letting him throw out her clothes.  However, I applaud her for being open to the idea that even she could step it up.

Is Being In Love Overrated ???

Is it just me or are people settling now days?  My friend who is not American told me that my obsession with being in Love is going to eventually land me single, alone with a few dogs and my writings because it’s unrealistic to think that the passion will last forever. He explained that in his culture people don’t marry for Love, they marry for status and connections and the Love comes later. It is not an arranged marriage but you don’t go looking for Love you look for the greatest connections and status; that is how you pick a partner.  I understand that over time you can grow to Love anyone, but is it just me or am I missing out on something.  If all I look for is status and connections I don’t think about how this person affects my personality and make me an overall better person, I feel that I will never be fully fulfilled.  Needless to say that I am a bit of romantic when it comes to relationships; recently being named the “Defender of Love” lol.

In my opinion, which is probably because I am deeply in student loan debt, not really on any career path and kinda just floating my way through life at this point; Love is a very important component in any relationship that I plan on being in for a long period of time.   So yes, my views may be jaded by my current status but I hope that I would feel this way regardless of my position.  It is very important to me, that you Love the person you choose to be with, that we take the time to understand how that person affects us emotionally and spiritually rather than economically.  Status can only be so beneficial.  I would like to think that if you find a person who pushes you to be the best you that you will ever be, then that trumps any status that person can provide. Now I know that Love can’t pay the bills, but it can make it easier if things go south and the bills end up not getting paid. Love can’t feed you but it is the glue that holds people together, it is the food for the soul.

Maybe it’s my thirst for Love that puts me on the never-ending quest to find it.  Maybe there is so much about Love that I don’t understand that I have a very idealized view of what it should be like.  Having been in  Love I know what it feels like when it’s real and how complete you feel when its mutual. Now I know someone is going to read this and think you have to learn to complete yourself. I don’t think we were meant to complete ourselves I believe there is someone for everyone but you have to be patient and realistic when looking for him or her;  being more open to the possibility of Love and less consumed with the idea that social positioning and status will make a person more compatible. I am not suggesting that you never give a thought to economics because it is an important component, simply I am saying that shouldn’t be the primary motivation.

Ambitious Women Looking for Knight, Less Ambitious Women Digging for Gold.

I recently read a tweet that made me pause, it read:

 ”Gotta love an ambitious woman who puts up a front, patiently waiting for that dark knight in shining armor, you WILL get your man, hopefully”

First off I think women, especially successful women are caught in a catch 22.  Today we all have to be able to bring something to relationships, but I find it very interesting that if you are successful and ambitious you are waiting on a knight in shining armor, because you want someone equally, if not more, successful.   If you are less successful you are a gold digger wanting to be saved.

I was raised with old school values and new school rules.  My Dad made it very clear that men should want to provide for the women that they love and his families.  But he also made it clear that you don’t depend on a man to provide those things, you have to want to provide them for yourself.  My Dad taught me that a relationship is not 50/50 in every aspect. Someone is always going to out perform the other in some way, either financially or on the home front; it’s a balancing act. The man not willing to, or more importantly wanting to, provide for his woman and family is not worth a woman’s time or energy.

The independent woman model has been shoved down our throats for the last two or three decades.  I do not believe there is anything wrong with women being independent or successful.  I have a problem with the fact that independent women are portrayed as not needing a man and successful men are portrayed as being taken advantage of. At what point did it stop being ok for men to make more money and to want to take care of the woman in his life?

I am not saying that men should always make more money, but in actuality it is shown that there are disparities in salaries for identical careers between the sexes.  So by nature of the beast it is very likely that at the same level of success, the man will in fact make more money.  The idea that ambitious women are waiting for someone to rescue them from the lives they have built for themselves is ridiculous.  I do not speak for all women but I tend to be an equal opportunist.  How you treat me is far more important than how much money you make.  I know that in the long run if you choose a person solely based on the ability to provide,  you are selling yourself short. And the funny thing is because you already have a pretty good work ethic you don’t need a man to save you.

I just want the man in my life to want to provide for me regardless of his ability to do so.  I want a man who will work as hard as I do.  I don’t feel it necessary to find someone more successful I just want someone with the same work ethic. This front that was mentioned in this tweet is silly, if he hasn’t noticed somone has to play the part of the knight.