I hate New Years resolutions and I’ve never actually made one that I intended to keep, this year will be different. My New Year’s Resolution is to do what makes me Happy.
Archive for December, 2011|Monthly archive page
Most of the time I don’t like to have expectations because they often lead to disappointment. When I was child I learned to not expect things because that was the easiest way to get hurt. Well I’m changing that this year. I expect for things to be great. I’m looking forward to the challenge of making some real changes based on what I learned thus far. I am looking forward to my niece turning one, to seeing my friends and family prosper. I am looking forward to Loving myself first for a change, to not not put anyone or anything in the way of my own happiness. I’m looking forward to being happy and feeling happy not just thinking it but actually being it. I’m also looking forward to just seeing how everything plays out because it’s about time for this plot to change.
Favorite Music Artist: Adele, she has a phenomenal voice and knows what works for her. I was always a fan but 2011 was her year. She made me want to go through a break up just to relate on a deeper level.
Favorite Song: Run the World (Girls) by Beyonce. This song is better than a brownie hot fudge sundae during my period. Whenever I need a pick me up I put it on repeat. When I don’t feel like working out anymore I put it on repeat. This song>>>>
Favorite Movie: Columbiana. I Love revenge movies, Zoe Saldana made me think for about 36 seconds that I could be an assassin avenging the death of my loved one.
Favorite TV Series: Once Upon a Time and The Walking Dead. I am a television buff. I will give just about anything a shot and I will watch episode after episode. I was leery of Once Upon a Time but the way they manage to weave the stories together is impressive. My heart breaks a little every episode but I’m invested I can’t not watch. The Walking Dead is a stark contrast from my other fav. There aren’t even words for how good the show is.
Favorite Reality Show: Love and Hip Hop. I don’t consider reality shows in the same category. I actually don’t care for reality shows but Love and Hip Hop is a good one mostly because I can’t get enough of Chrissy. She is my imaginary best friend and when someone crosses me I ask myself what would Chrissy Lampkin, soon to be Lampkin-Jones, do. No matter what the situation is she is always her self, strong in he opinions and protective of her Loved ones.
I will be looking for a place to party as well as finding something to wear. I Love NYE it’s my favorite night of the year because no matter how much I plan it never goes how I want but I always have a good time because I’m surrounded by awesome people. I figure it’s the last night of the year so do something memorable. I like to wear sequins or metallic. Usually people spend NYE with their significant other, but I’ve spent the night for the last 2 years with my bff, even though I’ve had the same boyfriend during that time. I’m starting to wonder if that is a bad sign. There have been reasons why things happened how they did but I honestly thought this year would be different. My little sister will probably be around but I’m not sure she tends to be aloof. Not matter what the sign says I think bringing in the new year is special when you are with people who mean something to you.
Honestly 2011 wasn’t the year of accomplishments it felt like just another year of trying. Although I don’t feel like I accomplished anything significant I feel like I found out what living was about. I learned more than I accomplished so I think my biggest accomplishment was being mindful of the lessons.
I learned a lot to say the least a lot. Here it goes…
What I learned about people:
I learned how to compare what people tell you about themselves, to how they go about things in their everyday life. Actions always speak louder than words and while people say a lot of things it is what they actually do that’s most important. I’ve always been one to watch what people do but this year I’ve watched the people around me more than ever. I’ve learned to think about where people are coming from, reconciling what I know of their past experiences with their present actions. In doing this I’ve learned to more empathetic to people.
What I’ve learned about myself:
I care about the people closest to me more than I ever thought. But in the same breath I must say that I learned that no matter how much I care I have to let people live their lives. Also, I am not ready to have children, or a family for that matter, I want to know me and know my partner (hopefully husband) before I ever bring another person in to this world.
What I learned about relationships:
People have a tendency to say, you get out of a relationship what you put in it…. That is not always true. There are times when you are with a person and you do all that you can to do right by them, but they can still be assholes to you. Maybe it’s not a blatant action but I’ve learned that how they treat you when you’re not around it just as important as how they treat you when you are. You have to make it very clear what you are willing to accept in all situations. I’ve also learned that you can’t just let things go, there are times when letting things go just makes it worst. We have to be with people who are willing to work just as hard at it and that are worth the effort.
What I learned about Love:
Love is truly blissful insanity.
I wouldn’t change a thing I always think that going back and changing things is over rated. I am who am because of all the things I’ve experienced. I wouldn’t change anything.
My little sister. She is awesome and though she has moments where I could drop kick her, she is resilient more than I ever imagined she would be. I would give her the world if I could but she has proved that I can trust her with her life lol; that she doesn’t always need my guidance. She taught me how to be mentally stronger this year, how smile in spite of and how to be thankful for everything. Most of all my sister taught me how to listen to others. It is important that we realize that sometimes people have our best interest and they mean well; it’s ok to listen, it’s ok to try things a new way, especially if your way isn’t working. I’ve also learned from her that people’s opinions don’t matter, but you have to believe that, you can’t just say it. Not only have I learned these lessons that were crucial for most peopl, I didn’t have to go through anything to learn.
Stagnant… At times I felt trapped this year its like I’m looking at the world through the window. I felt as though I was just existing and not living. I refuse to let that happen in 2012. It was like the world kept going and I stopped. Nothing too bad happen but neither did a whole lot of good. I had more reasons for going about things the way I did, stability was much more important to me this year than it had been in the past for various reasons. I think it was year of rude awakenings in my life and now I can say “Lord I hear you loud and clear”. I need to start listening to voice in side of me.